Because of the tremendous interest in Ruth’s booklet on dining etiquette and her "etiquette message" so to speak, she has been asked to be a guest speaker for various groups

Ruth and her assistant, Paula Bartlett, set a table for a multi-course meal in preparation for the seminar that Ruth gave at the Richard Honquest Fine Furniture store in Barrington on November 6^th, l997. The subject of the seminar was, "Holiday Dining Etiquette".

At the seminar, Ruth asked several true/false questions to the audience. The questions follow.

After the seminar, there was a "booklet signing" for those who purchased her booklet, "Tips on Modern American Dining Etiquette".

Here are some of the questions and the answers that Ruth presented at the seminar.

You have sent invitations to your holiday party and clearly indicated that you wanted an R.S.V.P. Some of your guests have not responded. You should NEVER call them to see if they are able to come because you would embarrass them for not having responded.

False. ALWAYS call the guests who have not responded to your invitation. There may be good reasons why they have failed to call. Accept whatever reasons your guests give for not having responded earlier and be happy if they are able to come to your party!

It is always a good idea to set up your bar near the kitchen so that water is readily available for the drinks and the white wine and champagne can stay chilled in the refrigerator and be close at hand for the bartender.

False. Guests tend to gather around your bar area, so set it up away from your kitchen so that your guests do not interfere with your caterers. Have water available in a pitcher if you do not have a "wet" bar. Put your white wine and your champagne in ice buckets on the bar to keep them chilled. Have your other bottles of white wine and champagne chilling either in your refrigerator or someplace where they will be easily accessible.

ALWAYS hire a bartender for a large holiday party because the duty of the host the evening of the party is to entertain his guests NOT prepare drinks for them!

If you are having a large party for the holidays, it is nice but not necessary for you to greet your guests at the door.

True. While it is desirable for the host and hostess to greet each guest at the door, sometimes it is impossible because they get "drawn" into the party. Someone should greet your guests at the door, however. Arrange to have either an uniformed person or a family member greet them to take their coats and to let them know where the party is.

It is also a nice touch to have an uniformed person or someone greet your guests with a tray of glasses containing white wine, champagne or sparkling water. Your guests will quickly get into the party spirit once their coats are taken care of and they have a glass of something to drink in their hands!

If you bring a hostess gift to a party with a thank you note tucked inside, it is nice but not necessary to send an additional thank you note to the hosts.

True. In many social circles in America, this will suffice. However, if you entertained in a home in a foreign country or in the home of foreign born people in America, bring a hostess gift to the party AND write a thank you note after the party. People from other countries are much more formal than we have become in America and expect hostess gifts and thank you notes.

If you have not brought a hostess gift to a party, then it is mandatory that you write a thank you note to your hosts even in America! This note should be written very soon after the party.

If your favorite drink is not available at a holiday party, you should tell your hosts what you like to drink so that they can have it available the next time you are entertained in their home.

False. Unless you are a close friend of the hosts, do not expect to have your favorite brand of wine or whisky available at a party. If, however, your hosts know your favorite brand, they should try to have it available when they entertain you.

If your hosts are not smokers and you do not see any ashtrays around, you should assume that this is a non-smoking house and refrain from lighting up.

True. Many non-smoking Americans are even putting discreet "please do not smoke" signs around their homes when they are entertaining so that people will not smoke. If you are a smoker and are being entertained in a non-smoking house, step outside to have your smoke.

If you are at a large holiday party and you have decided to leave, it is nice but not necessary to go up to your hosts to thank them for the evening.

False. You must ALWAYS seek out your hosts before leaving a party to thank them for the evening. It is the height of bad manners to sneak out without saying good-bye!

You are invited to a holiday party and the invitation states that you are to dress in "semi-formal" attire. You assume that to mean that the ladies are to wear nice dresses or suits but no sequins and the men are to wear suits, dress shirts and ties.

False. When it comes to attire these days, NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING! Look what happened when executives allowed their employees to have "casual" day at the office!

When you call your hostess to R.S.V.P. to the invitation, if you have any doubts as to what would be appropriate attire at the party, ask her what she and her husband are wearing that evening. That should be a good guideline for you so that you do not show up inappropriately attired and feel uncomfortable during the evening.

Ruth has a degree in Home Economics from the University of Illinois, Champaign where she learned, among other things, proper dining etiquette. She is also a member of the sorority, Sigma Kappa, which, in the early l960’s when Ruth started college, had a Standard’s Chairman who made sure that all rules of proper etiquette and protocol were observed! In addition to this training, and having a mother who was very strict about etiquette, Ruth is a graduate of the Protocol School of Washington.